-
Discovering Solar Information
I swung my torch beam across the empty building, dust motes glinting in the harsh light from the bulb. The huge metal machines, long since rusted away, didn’t sparkle nearly so much. ‘I think we’re clear,’ Roland whispered from behind me, his own torch sweeping the area. ‘No sign of any… others.’ I suppressed a shiver at the hushed name – it had been so long since we’d seen any of them. Some people back at camp took this as a good sign, had started to walk around with actual smiles. Me? It only made me more nervous. ‘Check…
-
Buying Roses Sneakily
Selma’s foot tapped anxiously on the driveway gravel, and it was all I could do not to whack her on the back of the head with my handbag. ‘Why do you look like you want to hit me?’ she asked with a frown. ‘Because I’m trying very hard not to hit you!’ I hissed back at her. ‘Relax! You’re driving me insane!’ ‘I’m nervous!’ she protested. ‘I’ve never done this kind of… deal before.’ ‘Oh for god’s—we’re not doing anything wrong.’ ‘Aren’t we?’ she whispered, flicking her eyes around. ‘Then why are we in the middle of nowhere?’ ‘It’s Australia,’ I rolled my eyes.…
-
Forest Roses
I sprinted down the garden path, my brother hot on my heels, as our mother leant over the porch to yell at us. ‘Where are you going?!’ she screeched. ‘Tabitha and Archibald, you come right back here this instant!’ We giggled and ran even faster, dodging and ducking around trees as the woods became thicker and our mother’s voice became fainter. Eventually, after we’d been running for what seemed like hours, Archie began to slow down in front of me. I could have kept running for much further, but I slowed down with him. He bent forward and put his hands on his knees, gulping down air. …
-
No Service Needed
I can’t believe how well my car managed to hold up after a drive across the entire country. It was one of the most brutal road trips I’ve ever been on; we faced hail the size of golf balls, torrential rain that threatened to sweep us away in flash floods and rough mountain tracks. I was getting ready to book an appointment with a highly-rated car service based in Bentleigh East for the minute we got home, but our car managed to get through it all without even a scratch! Not bad for a little Mars 3! It probably would be a good idea to take the car to a…
-
Tinting in Space
It’s been ten years since there was an attempt on Palantine’s life and he proceeded to make himself emperor of the galaxy. After all that drama, Emperor Palantine finally revealed details about the big space station project to me. I’ve been hard at work, tinting the windows of this moon-sized battle station ever since. Emperor Palantine insists that this thing is going to finally bring peace to the galaxy, which sounds great to me. Tinting windows in space isn’t exactly the easiest thing to accomplish, so it’s taking quite a while. I just hope that they aren’t planning to use this battle station in the next five years or so…
-
Tinting Shattered
Woah! That was one of the most insane things I have ever witnessed in my entire life! I was up tinting some windows for Chancellor Palantine’s office, since they had to be replaced after the evil robot General Grievance broke into the building and kidnapped the Chancellor (who was later rescued by the space wizards Obi-Too and Amikin Skystrider). There I was minding my own business, going through the motions of office tinting as usual. That’s when I saw the flash of lights – purple and red. I peeked through the window and couldn’t believe my eyes as I saw Master Window wielding his famous purple plasma sword, trying to…
-
Plumbing Waterpark
Thirty-three days through our 104-day summer vacation. Today, Fern and I will be building the world’s largest water park. How are we going to manage this? Well, we’ve already built the world’s best wooden fortress this summer, so it really doesn’t seem like that much of a stretch. Not to mention that time we built a spaceship and met the aliens on Pluto (they were very upset to learn that their world is no longer considered a planet). Anyway, I figure a quick trip down to order plumbing supplies from a Cheltenham hardware store should have us sorted with everything we could possibly need. What’s that, you don’t think it’s…
-
Renovation in Ruin
It was worse than Princess Plum had even imagined. Trowser had left such a trail of destruction that, as the Fellowship passed through each town, she wondered if there was any hope of this place recovering. She’d been hoping it wouldn’t be that bad, that a simple renovation of each home would restore this kingdom to its former glory, but it was becoming clear that this would require a complete rebuild. Simply put, the Renovation Kingdom was in ruins. She remembered the day that the bathroom designers from Melbourne had come to the magical lands near the Fungus Kingdom. Her father, King Plum, had welcomed them with open arms. He…
-
Plumbing From Home
These last few years have made work for my buddy somewhat difficult. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you why, but he hasn’t been able to do his usual callouts to people’s homes since early 2020. Since he’s a plumber, I’m sure you can see why that might make things tough. At first, he tried to do plumbing from home, using drones and robots, but that seemed to scare people. The reviews did not look great after that. To give you a couple of examples: “I ordered regular old drain plumbing from someone who was supposedly the best Melbourne plumber for blocked drains. Of course, I expected a normal…
-
Luxury Building Whinge
What’s that famous saying again? You only get out of life what you put into it? Well, that’s a load of absolute nonsense. Do you know what I put into life? Everything! Every weekday and most weekends for nearly fifty years! My blood, sweat and tears, left it all on the table behind me! And for what? Sure, I live in one of the nicest apartments on my stretch of coastline – but it’s a western coastline! Who wants to live on the western coast?! My neighbour drove past in his brand new Mer-sayadeez (Japanese brand, I think, funny name) the other day, and had the impunity…